Do you want more success and happiness? Stop doing this.
Is your people-pleasing getting in the way of your success?
I was raised to be a people pleaser. From a little girl to a grown-ass woman, and I’ve been darn good at it. One day, I realized everyone was happy…but ME! It’s true; I grew up in the South and was taught that the answer to every question was a polite “yes.” As my grandmother used to say, “You want to get along with others and have people like you, right?” And like most young women, of course, I did. Looking back on those times, I have to laugh; we weren’t allowed even to question a request. It’s impossible to ignore how far we’ve come.
Once I graduated from college, moved to a major city, and worked for a few years, I began to realize the error embedded in my grandmother’s best intentions. Companies want their staff to be curious, ask questions, and even tactfully disagree. These are the telltale signs of an employee with leadership potential. Thank goodness times have changed! As for me, I’ve gotten older, wiser, and I’m not nearly as agreeable, and in return, I am more competent, respected, and substantially happier.
Life is short and our careers shorter. You only get one shot, so why not make it the best it can be and make yourself happy along the way?
You are most likely heading back to the office any day now. Try out this new perspective for three weeks, enough time to create a new habit. Once you’ve tried putting yourself FIRST and NOT pleasing everyone else, take a step back to reflect. What did you learn about yourself? How do you feel about the new you?
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